Wedding day/s diary!!!

shubh bibah

Yesterday was the biggest day of my life…. I got hitched!! I know, crazy right!!! So it all started about two months ago when my family found this perfect suitor for me. The first time I saw her, it was like magic. She was so beautiful and just watching her laugh with my whole family just made me realize how perfect everything was. I was so happy I almost dropped the cup of tea I was serving her, silly me. And of course, we were given few minutes to talk and test the waters. “You look more handsome than in the picture I saw” were her words.. ahh the ice breaker!!! And just then and there I knew it was meant to be. We went on couple of dates since then and here we are now… MARRIED!!

Now lets talk about the wedding. Man it was just too exhausting you know! Sitting in front of fire all day with my head down.. my neck still hurts!! And all the time that I was daring enough to put my head up, I was told to plaster smile on my face.. my cheeks still hurt from it. There were times when I almost wanted to hold my head high and let loose but then my mom’s words would echo in my head “No one wants a rebellious son in law”. Beating the heat, hunger, and pain on my back, neck, and everywhere else I can think of, I was almost looking forward to the day coming to an end, but then it hit me… time to say goodbye to the fam! I will be honest with you guys, it sucked!!! My mom was bawling her eyes, my dad my fighting his tears and about me, I am not even sure if the tears were from exhaustion or sadness or happiness or what, it was rough!!!

Well as I was helped in the car to leave and saw my wifey waiting for me, it just made it all seem worth it after all. She smiled at me and handed me a hankie and boy, did my heart melt? awhh more tears!! You would think this is the end of drama, but we have more.. keep reading! 😉

So we make it to my wife’s place and I was ushered in our bedroom. As the thought crossed my mind “Finally I can actually relax and let loose” I hear loud giggles from the hallway and before I could process it all in there were a herd of gents in my room to help me get dressed. “For what?” I almost said it out loud then my mom’s words echoed again!! I got dressed, I bonded with few gents and then it was time to meet my wifey’s relatives. There were her neighbors, her uncles, aunts, kids, dogs, I don’t even remember half of the faces I smiled at or feet I touched with my head. After what felt like an eternity, finally it was over!!!! Thank sweet lord!!!

So I was ushered in the bedroom again but with my wifey this time (yay!) and yes it was really just us-time. I was beyond exhausted at this point and hoping for the night to be over so I could just sleep. I check the time and tears almost trickled down my cheeks.. IT’S MIDNIGHT!!! I have to be up in the next five hours and make tea for everyone. Saying “I am screwed” would have been an under statement at that point. As I lay down on my side of the bed (I hope?) my wife holds my hand. And then suddenly my best friend’s words started ringing in my ears “You have to ‘do it’ on the wedding night”. Oh the infamous ‘suhag raat’, how could I have forgotten?! “I am too tired, I think we should go to sleep” as my wife said those words I breathed a huge sigh of relief and almost kissed her face (how ungentlemanly, i know).

Now we are all caught up and in the present. I have been awake for 5 hours already and it’s only 10 AM. Can you imagine? My brain hurts!!! The whole morning was spent touching everybody’s feet with my head and I don’t even know their names yet or who they are!! And the most frustrating part of it all, where is my wife? I left my home and my family for her and all I have been doing is touching feet and serving tea.. this life!!! My wife is hanging out with the ladies.. all the time!!! Like what could be more important than her husband? And I am here waiting for her to calm me down as I am about to lose my shit! She is the only person that I know well enough to be here and here I am trying to make small talk with all these uncles. And what is this baby doing on my lap?! I don’t even like babies!! But I have to pretend to like it all and smile all the time. I miss my dad!!! Or do I? He is the one who sent me here in the first place promising this will be the most beautiful thing that will ever happen to me.

And just now someone just whispered in my ear that I need to go get ready for the reception. Oh I almost forgot about it!! Another evening putting my head down and smiling when it’s up!! “Get through few more days and your life will be a piece of cake” I remember one of my uncles telling me that. I plaster a fake smile on my face and head to the bedroom to get dressed!

Side Note: I hope you caught the sarcasm!

Side side note: Not married!! 😉
Continue reading Wedding day/s diary!!!

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Man! I feel like a woman! ;)

international_woman__s_day_by_tragic_ballerina-d3b67y9

PC: http://www.deviantart.com/art/International-Woman-s-Day-200164545

Ladies.. and gents, let me start out with the obvious – Happy International Woman’s day everyone!! Man, isn’t it a great day to be a woman?!! (see what I did there.. see it, see it?) lol Yes yes I know, womanhood shouldn’t just be celebrated just one day.. BUT since we have this day designated for it, why not give it a recognition? I do have to admit though, today was just like any other day but with gazillions of posts about women empowerment posted by people in social medias and Frida Kahlo/ Rosa Parks/ Marie Curie snapchat filters added here and there.

I have read so many beautiful posts from great men and women talking about all the struggles we face as woman and what we have achieved so far and it is wonderful to read those. However, I have decided to talk about small things in life that we can get away with for the only reason – being woman. What is so great about being a woman then? To each it’s own and I am going to share mine. If you know me personally, you would know I am your borderline girly-girl. I LOVE the fact that I can have my desk at work decorated unapologetically pink without being judged for it (hopefully). Yes, women are stereotyped for loving pink but my love for the color started before I was introduced to the stereotype. Growing up back home, there was no trend of buying pink/blue stuff for new-borns based on their gender. I may have even witnessed little boys wrapped in pink blankies and little girls in blue. Oh and I also love the fact that I can get away with saying words like “blankie”.

Growing up when the boys would be asked to turn into “kukhura” (putting your head between your knees while standing and holding your ears) as punishment for being naughty at school, girls would get let off the hook with a warning or two. I mean how awesome is that?! One minute you are treated with such sensitivity like a fragile flower and the next there are plans being made to marry you off with strangers.. because you can handle it?! Okay, this is a hornets nest I will poke some other day as I clearly started out saying I will embrace the positives. lol I also enjoyed the fact that “girl problems” could be used as excuse to miss PEs and assemblies in school and till date “cramps” can be used as an excuse to miss any unwanted social gatherings. 😉 Real cramps – not at all enjoyable!!!

Then comes the fun part – clothes, shoes, shopping, make up, girls day/night out, manicure sesh, spa day…… There is one thing that I can do any given day no matter how tired, broken, or broke I am: shopping! It legit cures everything. Given the fact that I love shopping so much, I hate shopping for men. If I ever have to buy gift for a guy, I push it until last min and buy anything that I can find in the last 5 mins before store closes. lol It is a super hard task. On the other hand, shopping for women is super easy. Myriad of colors, items, and selections. Oh and I can never imagine this life without being able to wear lipstick, so amen to that!

In my opinion, a woman adds color to a man’s life. With a woman entering their life, cushions get added on the couch, matching dinnerware replaces unmatched cups and plates, toilet seats are set down (that’s a bonus), brunches & mimosas are introduced, all-in-one shampoo/conditioner/body wash is replaced by separate bottles, wall hangings turn bright and colorful, all shades of red,s blues and greens replaces the blacks and grays in the house, and so much more that I could write a book about it. I enjoy every little tiny detail in life that makes me a woman. Maybe I allow myself to get stereotyped too much or maybe we have turned every little things to be negatively stereo-typed, who knows?Anywho, I know there is a LOT more things that are wonderful about being a woman but I decided to focus on tiny little things today. Those things that may not be as significant or may be too much stereo-typed, but at the end of the day some things to cherish about.Oh and the best one saved for the last – There is no International Mans Day!!! 😉

BIG Girls Don’t Cry

Chin up, chest out, and suck the tummy in – Why do I still look fat in this picture!?! .. Maybe because I am fat?! Oops I said it, yes I said the “F” word. How many of you can relate to this? As a woman coming from a South Asian country, one thing I can tell you is that if you are not a skinny person, then you better pack your bags and move somewhere else…. just kidding, or am I? 😉

Being fat sucks, I know. I swear I am not trying to start a pity party here. I am trying to shed some light on the other side and see if we can change our perception about few things. I have never been skinny in my life. I can not ever remember being size zero. I have gone from being not-so-fat person to the victim of freshman 15 (or 30) ,to a chubster and finally to the god damn fattest that I have ever been. And this has been a one hell of a journey.

I would go into details about this journey of mine but I guess I can save that for a later time. Today I want to talk about body shaming. What do I know about body shaming? – It’s not cool bruh. I have been a first hand victim of it and I have seen other people go through it too. Skinny or fat, body shaming someone is not good. Since I represent the latter, I am going to talk about it more.

There was a time when I used to be bothered by it.. A LOT. I have had instances where people that I hadn’t talked to for a long time would send me a “hi” in Facebook only to be followed by “OMG you have gained so much weight”. I have three god damn mirrors in my room.. you don’t need to point out how I look. Or instances where I would post a food picture, only to have someone comment, “Jeez, stop eating more before you explode”. I paid for the food, it’s going in my body, if I explode, it’s on me, so hold your horses… I would be lying if I say such comments don’t hurt. Of course it does, even if the person is trying to make a joke about it, its annoying, humiliating, hurtful, and what not.

But then, I started building a thick skin, literally. I started realizing that people are going to judge no matter what. It’s the society that is to blame. No matter how much you hate it, there is nothing really that you can do about it. Sometimes I wonder who was it that started the trend of labels based on body type. “Hey that person looks bigger than us, lets call them fat, oh and also fat is ugly so they should be made fun of.. haha” – That is how I imagine it all started.

Leaving the judgement aside, I think most of us will still agree that it is not fun being fat regardless. In my opinion, there is only 10-15% of people who are actually comfortable with their body and they flaunt it like they own it. The rest of us are just lost in the war between the society and ourselves. The struggle between Pizza or Salad is real, I tell you. You want to lose weight but you also want to eat good food. You eat healthy for few weeks, workout diligently, don’t see any difference and fall back in the shithole. Its like a never ending struggle. It needs so much more dedication than one can actually assume. Its easy to be skinny and tell someone “All you need is to watch what you eat and workout”. If it was as easy as it sounds like, I don’t think I would be writing this right now.

There is always going to be PMS, last cupcake in the fridge, coworker’s cousin’s birthday cake, work Happy Hour appetizers, Pizza party or many more excuses as such. It’s 10 times easier to say yes to cupcakes than to salad. The key at the end of the day is to keep doing what you think is best for you. If you want to lose weight, do it for yourself. If you think you look good the way you are, make sure you are happy with how you look. The in-between phase is the poison, where you blame the society half the time and yourself the other half and in the end you are the only one that is miserable.

Now excuse me while I grab a glass of wine and cry while munching on some chips…. just kidding.. or am I? 😉

 

Being Housewife??

At this very moment you have a work to go to, you bring home some money and you can call yourself an independent person. Imagine that something unfortunate happened and from the next day onward you are jobless. First couple of days might be fun. Not having to wake up early, not caring about what day of the week it is or what time of the day it is. But how long can you enjoy it? Imagine having to do this for the rest of your life.

This very thought came across my mind as I was folding the second load of laundry that I just did. And at the very moment I started thinking about my mom, aunt, and various other women in my life that I know who have taken up the profession of being “house wife”. Imagine waking up everyday to a mundane life-style. You wake up, cook for your family, while they are gone for the day to school/college/work you do the dishes, wash their clothes and cook more food for them and wait for them to be back. How would you actually feel if you somehow traded your life right now to this life style for the rest of your life? Sounds pretty sad, eh?

Feminism may have come a long way but there are things like these that constantly keep reminding that after all we are just women, the second gender. I used to think that it is only under-developed country that women still have a long way to go until a conversation I recently had with my friend (who is from a very developed country). He complained about how his mother was never there for him when he was a kid while she showed me a beautiful collection of scrapbook she made from his childhood memories including some poems that he wrote in kinder garden. Why is it that to this day women are expected to give up their career and take care of the child while its out of question if the father is asked to do the same. I know there are some men who wouldn’t mind being the stay-at-home dad, don’t get me wrong here. But if you take a realistic look at it, the idea of stay-at-home-dad is rather unusual while it is not so uncommon for the mothers to do the same.

I just can’t help feel bad for the women back home that I know of and many other women that I don’t know of who have given up on their dreams and career to give their kids and family the life they deserve. It may be by choice for some of them while for the other half it was the life that was decided for them. At the age of 25, I still can’t think about settling down and starting and taking care of a family of my own while my mother took that responsibility at the tender age of 17. What if that was not what she wanted from life? What if she wanted to become a scientist, or a doctor, or the president of the country. Who knows what her life may have been like right now if she had the opportunity to speak for herself and choose the life she wanted.

This is to all those women out there who gave up on their dreams with or without their desire. Those women who compromised their wishes for the sole reason of love or for the sole reason of being women. You guys are the true superheroes for doing what you do and at the same time not complaining about it. Kudos to your unwavering strength that helps you put a smile on your face no matter how big a compromise you make every day. Happy International Women’s day to all the wonderful ladies in the entire world!!!

 

The Red Boots

What defines me? I pondered over this question for a long time in the quest of finding a new blog name. I wanted something that would represent me. Something that would speak on my behalf of who I am. Then the pair of Red boots lying in the corner of my closet crossed my mind. “But how would a pair of red boots define someone?” if you must ask!! Let me tell you a little story about my knee high, glossy, Hunter-look-alike, red boots with super power that helps me fly… just kidding. 😉 No super powers.

It was last year in winter when this pair of boots ran a little too tight on my sister so she generously handed over the pair to me that I had been eyeing on ever since the day she bought them. Oh the jolt of joy that went through my body as I put them on and went shopping with her. I felt like every pair of eyes at the mall was on my boots and then on me. Wait, this is the story about how the boots came into my possession. The real question is why would it define me. Let’s get back on track!

There is one common compliment that I come across almost every other time when I have the boots on, “It looks good on you but I would never be able to pull them off so well.” Getting series of similar compliments made me think if I really am the only person that can go around wearing a pair of dark red boots. I started to look around in the mall and started paying attention to women around me. That actually made sense. To be completely honest, I have never met anyone else in person who has worn bright red knee-high boots like mine. Maybe I live in the wrong corner of the world, who knows. 😉 Yes, yes, I have a good point to make (or not :P) shortly here, please keep reading.

I may have worn these boots over thirty times in this one-ish year that it has come to my possession. I have even been bold enough to wear it with a pink dress one time. I had to talk myself out of the fact that I was actually looking like a strawberry shortcake and yet I chose to go out like that. The fact that I wear it even though I know that it makes me stand out in the crowd is what makes me who I am. Not giving a shit about what others think about me. It may or may not work in my favor all the time but I have always made decisions without considering other people’s judgement (that certainly excludes family and close friends). When I think about life in general, it scares me, because its so uncertain. You never know if you will make it till tomorrow. However, rather than being intimidated by the fear of uncertainty, I choose to make the most out of what I have today.

I know a lot of people who give up on things that they like because they feel like they are entitled to other people’s opinion. What I am trying to say here is, you should never hold back from doing things that you like for the fear of being judged. You don’t know you can’t pull off the glossy red boots so well until you put them on. The red boots that I own may not have super powers but it certainly gives me strength to walk around in it regardless of the attention it grabs (no matter negative or positive) and always keeps reminding that I should always be brave enough to accept my interests and all these little things that make me who I am.